Miscarriage, pregnancy and IVF – my story

Miscarriage, pregnancy and IVF – my story. It has taken 5 years, an awful lot of heartache and tears of both sadness and joy to write my story.

Like a lot of women, I suffered multiple miscarriages, twin embryos at 8 weeks, a couple of single embryos at 4 weeks and then one baby at 19 weeks where I had to deliver in hospital, hold my small tiny baby and say goodbye. Each one in my eyes is a loss, a process of grieving commences and then you do your best to pick yourself up and start again. Miscarriage is a subject we don’t often talk about yet 1 in 4 women suffer a loss.

My husband and I decided we needed medical intervention to try and help us get pregnant and maintain our pregnancy. We chose IVF: an expensive and gruelling cycle of medication, injections, scans, and anxious waiting. I will never forget the the heartache going from one cycle to the next, harvesting a number of follicles to be told 6+ embryos had fertilised and got to Day 5 but then upon testing all were genetically abnormal due to my husband’s and my age. I chose to screen my embryos as I did not ever want to go through getting to 19+ weeks again and my baby dying, it is something I could not handle and a personal choice.

4 IVF cycles, 20+ embryos and we finally got 2 embryos that could be implanted. The tears of joy were exceptional but we both knew we still had a long way to go. Our first pregnancy was a rocky road we ended up in triage and early pregnancy unit multiple times for bleeding. I chose to have Acupuncture through the IVF cycles and during my pregnancy to help and support my Qi and energy as I knew how much the medication was depleting my body.

Through all of this I felt very lonely. Miscarriage, IVF, the 2 week wait, the 1st trimester are all elements were we did not talk about it a lot to family and friends for the fear of loosing the baby. Not only did the process become all consuming but it also became a very lonely place.

At 36 weeks, our first girl was definitely in a rush to come into the world. She arrived earlier than expected, I was not prepared in the slightest and during COVID it was very difficult as a new Mum to be on your own for 5 days in hospital with little to no support except the midwives. We then chose to use our second embryo and get pregnant again close together with the first. Throughout this time I relied on Acupuncture more than ever as I knew I would be tired, exhausted, sleep deprived and still recovering from the first pregnancy. 18 months later we were welcoming our second baby girl into the world.

I definitely class myself lucky and each day when I hug the girls I know what I have been through and am grateful for all the support from my husband, my family, friends and colleagues for helping me to go through some very dark days.

At YOLO Acupuncture, West Bridgford, Nottingham, I have a keen interest in fertility and gynaecology to help and support other women through their pregnancy journey.